Our coffee world

Representing a small world of its own, this has been our first cup of coffee-place for at least half the year. Here we find a transvestite, sitting on one of the sofas in one of the corners of the room. Across from this person sits an elderly lady on another set of sofas. Without exchanging a word, these people sit there each day, for hours at a time.  

The transvestite person—or so we heard one day—completely covers her/his head with a oversized hat. S/he wears a loose leather jacket and a scarf wraps around the neck. S/he is there when we enter the room each day and stays there when we leave. Sometimes s/he moves one or two locations within the room and makes two or three trips to move her/his two or three hand bags.

“A man becoming a woman?" "Yeah, a man can become a woman, ney…”  a wired elderly man blurted one day that grabbed our attention to the transvestite. We watched the weird man pursuing the transvestite from the distance. The man thought he was pursuing a lady, we guessed.

The elderly man had his own characters. We never saw him purchasing anything from the restaurant. He was tall and queer-looking! He walked around with a cellphone on his hand. His large jacket unzipped, and his hands spread wide. He reminded us of a hawk going after his prey. Fortunately, he left after a short quarrel between him and the transvestite.

There is also a mentally-ill person. This poor guy doesn’t know how odd it is for someone to watch him rolling up his sleeves just to drink a cup of coffee/tea. He sometimes smiles and talks to himself. Other times looks outside through the glass-windows and walks around the room.  We don’t know who he is or what his past was, but to see a young person going through this ritual makes my husband and I very sad!

There are also other people in this room, whom we meet and greet some days. Some of them are young, and others are elderlies. Some come here with their coffee-craze and others for breakfast.  There are also a few ‘lovers’ who come to take their chances to sleep on each-other’s arms or laps!

Our coffee world makes us feel lucky and at the same time very vulnerable to mental disorders!

Are most mothers negative force to their children?

Most mothers are negative force to their children. They hinder, rather than helping, their children’s survivability. I’m one such mother. 

As a mother,

I don’t notice my child enjoying 23.55 hours a day, but the 5 seconds my baby is sad, I notice. I don’t hear him/her laugh, but hear loud and clear when he/she cries. When things don’t go well the way I plan for my child, I panic. I forget my own heartaches and struggles when I was growing up that made me strong and better survivor. I hurriedly offer my help and promote my child’s vulnerability, instead!

Existence of Gods and Goddesses

As educated people, we should be able to express our views on Gods and Goddesses in the public the civilized way, without being intimidated or ridiculed. Often this is not the case. We're judged for our views the wrong way!

God's existence is hard to prove. Proving other way is equally hard, because normal people don't have the power to see God. 

When I say God, I'm referring to the female God also. I use God synonymously for both Gods and Goddesses.

Gods and Goddesses are huge issues. I can't begin to explain about Them. Trying to find out what is written about Them is my first quest.

What I found in my search is that a lot of people are mixed up God with religion. They start talking about Bible, Q'ran, Gita, et cetera, when  somebody asks them about God. Philosophers, such as Plato, Socrates, and Aristotle have explained about mind, soul, and spirit stuff, but not specifically about God. 

I also consulted the oldest and the youngest family members in my household. Both of them told me that God is created in our mind, out of fear and lack of knowledge.  

So, I came to the same conclusion as I always have: God is who we conceive He/She is.

There is a book called Connected:The Amazing Power of Social Networks and How they shape Our Lives by Nicholas Chistakis and James Fowler. Their article, "Behaviours and moods tend to spread through a population on the model of a contagion" clearly explains the phenomena that it is our association, not the God or religion, that shapes our thinking.

My family is fortunate to have lived in Campus towns in Canada and in the USA. We've also travelled to a few countries and have met people with all faiths. Consistently, we've met good and bad people across all religions!

Function of God is to lead His disciples (believers) to the "righteous" path. Function of religion should be  the same, since religions consist of "God's rule of laws". It is assumed that religious people are conscious of others' need, therefore, don't commit crime--out of the fair that their God would be upset with them.

So, even though the concept of God seems to have come from social and psychological factors, our societies are better off with God believers, than non-believers.

My personal belief on this matter is that, there is a God, or at least there is some Superpower beyond the reach of a normal human being. I've seen miracles happened. You can call these miracles co-incidental, but I would like to believe that God made those miracles possible!

The mentally poor people

Some people are born in a poor family and die poor, unfortunately! But others are fortunate enough to have been born in an affluent family. However, some of these fortunate people are born with a poor-mind.

Stories of how a person can be rich materially, but dirt-poor mentally are many. For instance, one of our family friends (who has more money than she can account for) buys her essentials only when these items are 'on sale’. She tells me that she just don't want to waste her money on items that are  not on discount. 

This person once took me to a store which sold ‘cheap’ grains. I bought a package of beans with her recommendation, which I had to throw away after finding as many live warms in the package as the seeds were!

Another colleague of mine told me once “I fill one of my sinks  with detergent-water and wash all my dishes of the day in that water” Wow!

I’ve been in the households who reuse their dish-pad for months and clean their dining table with a piece of cloth that never gets to see a washing machine or a dryer.  I’ve also witnessed some of our friends cooking all their foods in their presser cookers to save fuel!

My father used to tell us that some people are born “slaves”.  They are born to work for the money they own, not enjoy out of it.

He must be correct, or why would some people --with their own will-- go for the cheapest things they can find in a land of Best and Abundance? 

This post was for #metoo, written in October, 2017

I’m an woman and I guess the “#metoo” is for a male to speak out of their mistreatments to their female friends/co-workers/family members or whoever. But I’ve something to add here, as I read tomorrow, October 20th, is the Bhai-puja day in Nepal.


Much of Nepali cultures are male-chauvinistic, if you don’t know already? My topic is about that.


I was born to a chauvinist father, but he didn’t know this because he was surrounded by chauvinist-males, so what he did was normal to him—and everyone around him.


We were six children in the family, and my father assigned one sister to each of his three sons (my brothers), so his sons wouldn’t have to “look after” all three sisters.



Daughters are burdensome in the male-world, and I know the idea of assigning one sister to one son may have come from some other people—didn’t start from my father.



But I was a sensitive girl. I was hearing my father’s biased remarks, such as daughters build their husbands’ homes and daughters-in-law are our daughters (they build his home), etc.


However, my arguments are not about my father. These are directed to the mothers who kill their daughters willingly and legally (when they are still in wombs), and call “Laxmi” to their daughters and give a few coins on some occasions, but keep their valuables for their sons.



One such woman once told me that she used to take her pee to a "clinic" and see if it was a girl or boy embryo. Then she would go for abortion.


I've had my own story about abortion, but it was not for a boy my husband and I decided to go for the surgery. We simply couldn't afford to have another baby when he was a student and I had to work to support the household.


Being a sensitive girl, I’ve paid a heavy price emotionally when I was growing up. For example, my father would praise me occasionally and say “you’re so smart. I wish you were a son”. Or, "once I give you away in marriage, who is going to build my home?”


My father didn’t know how much I was hurt by his remarks. I never made him known my pain. But I did ask him once “Why are you so worried about “him” (one of my brothers) and not me?” To this he replied, “Because you would never suicide”. “You’re too smart to take your own life!”


So, when mothers call their daughters “Laxmi” and brothers ask their sisters' “blessings" on Bhai-Tika, my throat tightens in frustration.

Good Rulers and the Conscious Beggar

While searching for another article, I landed on a site called “Samskruthi” by Kunjunny. It is a blog about the stories of the ancient legends of India.

In this blog, I read “The story of sage Agastya,” posted on February 26, 2007. Agastya was a reputed sage. He had earned a great power by living an ascetic life for years.

One day he sees his ancestors hanging down a tree, begging him to bear children so that they can go to heaven.

But Agastya was unmarried. To fulfill his ancestral duties, Agastya went on to marry a  lady named, Lopamudra. Lopamudra was beautiful and wise. She reminded her husband that they needed money before they could bear children.

In this story Kunjunny has beautifully illustrated the character of a good ruler in only two short paragraphs that you may like to read for yourself:

But, the sage wanted to get children badly. So, he set out begging for money. He approached a king and pleaded for help. The king replied. “Sage, I would have been only too pleased to give you anything you ask for. But, please look at my books account. See for yourself that what I collect as taxes are spent fully for the cause of people. Nothing is saved. If you insist, I will have to collect more taxes”. But, the sage did not want ordinary people burdened on account of him.

The king suggested another monarch of great wealth. The two approached the second ruler together. They got the same reply there. Then, Agastya went to a third king with the other two who was famous for his charities. But, the condition there was no different.

Note: The last two paragraphs are copied from the blog:

http://kunjunny.blogspot.ca/2007/02/story-of-sage-agastya.html

It’s a dog's day in Nepal

This cutest dog was sent to me today as a good-luck wishes on Tihar

Dog’s day mean different things for different people, depending on the culture within which our brain is trained to think. For example, in the western societies it may mean a busiest day, or a hottest day of a summer, but for the traditional Chinese persons, it can mean a “Lychee day” or remind them their “Yulin” festival during their summer, during which dog-meat seems to be enjoyed in China as a special delicacy, according to some sources.

To the Hindu Nepalese, however, it means a “dog honoring’ day, and it’s called Kukur Tihar. Kukur Tihar is the second day of Tihar. Starting from honouring a crow (Kaj Tihar), a dog (Kukur Tihar), an oxen (Goru Tihar), a cow (Laxmi puja), and brothers (Bhai puja) consecutively, Tihar is celebrated in five days in Nepal.

During the festival families and friends visit each others' homes, houses are lighted, sweets are prepared, and good times are shared through chatting, playing cards, praying goddess of wealth, Laxmi, singing and dancing. Because of all these excitements, Tihar is one of the most celebrated and cherished festivals in Nepal!

If you're intrigued by this festival's significance, here is a book that describes Tihar in details.  Name of the book is Cultural Heritage of the Nepalese, and the link to the book site is here:

https://www.amazon.com/Cultural-Heritage-Nepalese-Kala-Sasi-ebook/dp/B01K0IOJ8A/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=&dpID=61xe7%252B1AhKL&preST=_SX342_QL70_&dpSrc=detail