We've tall and very handsome son. He is an artist and we're proud of him. He is making his own living and don't want to do anything else. He is a singer, song-writer, plays several instruments and manages his own band. This can be seen as a dedicated artist--no reason to worry about him, right?
Well, we're worried about him sometimes because most artists work hard, but earn very little income. He was born a day before the Mother’s Day in May. Thus, everyone used to tell me that “He is my Mother’s Day gift”. But he was more than any gift a mother could ask. He was a happy child, easy on his approach to everything. He mimicked his elder sisters and created his own games if nobody was around. He was a perfect child anyone could imagine!
While growing up, he did everything we wanted him to do: He was in sports, in music, was in a math competition, and a debater. He helped us in shoveling snow in the winter and mowing lawn in the summer. He was respectful, honourable and never talked back at us. Our girls used to tell me “Mom has a soft spot for him” but who wouldn’t have for such a child?
The matter is, we both (my husband and I) know the value of Freethinking, and we're happy that our children are using their own mind to choose the career of their choice--not the career path we wanted for them to follow. Yet, I felt a sharp pain when I read our son explaining his experiences of being a young brown artist struggling to survive amongst his white counterparts, and at the same time feeling abandoned by his parents when he dropped off from McGill a quite a few years back. The interview was a great exposure of his talent and look, yet I felt bad knowing his not-so-happy past!
True, we didn't care about our young son as much as he needed in his earlier art career, but we were hurt and felt betrayed when he quitted one of the most prestigious colleges we had sent him to. However, he was only 17 years old, and my mind couldn't agree even with all this justifications. He was too young to leave home unattended and free.
To be fair, I never abandoned him. I cried many nights to sleep, and I’m sure my husband felt the same. We’re both too disappointed, but I begged with my husband to visit him. Thus, when he said his parents abandoned him--not his father abandoned him, it was hurtful.
My husband is a 'successful' man and so am I. We've 'achieved' much more than many of our counterparts. But we didn't walk on the paths our parents showed us. We used our own mind and created our own successes. We're freethinkers!
We're advocating others to use their own head--instead of following the conventional thinking--believing in gods and heaven and hell stories.
Our son is doing the respectful thing: He is pursuing his interest (singer, son-writer, and band manager), while working to support him financially. Nothing wrong here!
So, why are we creating this double standard? I'm asking myself this question again and again.
