This post was for #metoo, written in October, 2017

I’m an woman and I guess the “#metoo” is for a male to speak out of their mistreatments to their female friends/co-workers/family members or whoever. But I’ve something to add here, as I read tomorrow, October 20th, is the Bhai-puja day in Nepal.


Much of Nepali cultures are male-chauvinistic, if you don’t know already? My topic is about that.


I was born to a chauvinist father, but he didn’t know this because he was surrounded by chauvinist-males, so what he did was normal to him—and everyone around him.


We were six children in the family, and my father assigned one sister to each of his three sons (my brothers), so his sons wouldn’t have to “look after” all three sisters.



Daughters are burdensome in the male-world, and I know the idea of assigning one sister to one son may have come from some other people—didn’t start from my father.



But I was a sensitive girl. I was hearing my father’s biased remarks, such as daughters build their husbands’ homes and daughters-in-law are our daughters (they build his home), etc.


However, my arguments are not about my father. These are directed to the mothers who kill their daughters willingly and legally (when they are still in wombs), and call “Laxmi” to their daughters and give a few coins on some occasions, but keep their valuables for their sons.



One such woman once told me that she used to take her pee to a "clinic" and see if it was a girl or boy embryo. Then she would go for abortion.


I've had my own story about abortion, but it was not for a boy my husband and I decided to go for the surgery. We simply couldn't afford to have another baby when he was a student and I had to work to support the household.


Being a sensitive girl, I’ve paid a heavy price emotionally when I was growing up. For example, my father would praise me occasionally and say “you’re so smart. I wish you were a son”. Or, "once I give you away in marriage, who is going to build my home?”


My father didn’t know how much I was hurt by his remarks. I never made him known my pain. But I did ask him once “Why are you so worried about “him” (one of my brothers) and not me?” To this he replied, “Because you would never suicide”. “You’re too smart to take your own life!”


So, when mothers call their daughters “Laxmi” and brothers ask their sisters' “blessings" on Bhai-Tika, my throat tightens in frustration.