Born empty handed and will die empty handed

I heard one of my childhood friends was hit by a vehicle last night. She is lying flat lifelessly in the hospital bed in her town, while the doctors are trying to figure out the severity of her injured brain, another friend of mine reported me.

I grew up side-by-side with both of these friends in the same town. The first friend was a vivacious person with an inquisitive mind and strong body when we’re growing up. She performed better than I did in school and in sports. She had to be on ‘top’ always and aggressively yearned for wealth. She didn’t need much sleep or any other form of physical rest as her mind overworked tirelessly.

With her hard work and determinations, she had amassed everything she wanted! She had a long career with the government, few rental properties nearby to cover her living costs, and her investments in the financial markets were growing exponentially. Most of these investments she will never have to touch since her residual income (passive income) were enough for her and her family to live even if they survived for hundred more years!

This friend of mine had been buying property left and right. She never let go of any ‘good’ piece of land or home that had a potential to increase overnight-value. Once, she even bought the piece of land behind her mother for which her mother had already made advance payments for to secure the deal.Her love for money had over shadowed her conscience. She had forgotten that we were born empty handed and will die empty handed. 

When she had a liquidity problems (she ran out of cash in her bank), this friend of mine borrowed money from her friends and relatives and financed the properties she eyed to --not because she needed but simply out of greed!  She often borrowed from the relatives or friends who had the least for themselves, because my friend calculated that by exploiting the people with no ‘voice’ in the public her aggression would be kept secret from the public.

Now, my friend is lying on the hospital bed disoriented, I heard. Most of her body-parts are wrapped in bandage, they tell me. However, she can talk a little, although not coherently. She can drink a little, although has not been able to keep in her stomach for long. She started to go to washroom with the help of her family and friends since yesterday, they assured me. Thanks to her iron-will, which seems to be still functioning well!

Midst of my friend’s ordeal, I heard that her husband is running around looking for a person to borrowing money from. He needed the money for his wife’s treatments, he's been telling people.  While his lifeless wife barely knows what is happening around her, he on the other hand, seems to be ‘too aware’ of the depleting savings in their bank accounts.

Putting everything together, it seems that my friend will live a few more years with minor disability, since all of her vital-parts seem to have started working reasonably well. Is this a good news for the people exploited by my friend for all these years? I don't know.


Regardless of her attitude, she is a wife, mother and a few other things to her family members.  I wonder how her quality of life would be from now on. Will she be the needy person she was in all her life? Or, she will be the convert one with totally healthy life style, I ponder.

I grew up hearing, “as you sow, so shall you reap”, but I was sceptical about it, as I had seen many people getting away with their wrong deeds. But with the news about this friend,  I'm fairly comfortable to assume that you get back what you give to others.  

Not to take seriously: An advice to parents

Learning not to take your own children seriously. It's hard, but we must do it in order to save ourselves from a lot of headaches. Seriously!


Most parents consider their children part of them and they are, theoretically. This was the thinking of most children also until a few decades ago, which made the world go-around smoothly for so many centuries. But the time has changed.

Now, most of the children don’t think the same way their parents do. These children are not capable of thinking about their parents. This does not mean they would not expect help of all sort from their parents; they do. In fact, they automatically think what belongs to their parents is theirs also and they think it is their rights to seek help from parents when they are in difficulty, but not vice versa!

They would come home and tell you “so and so’s parents did this and that for their children” But they would never take the time to find out what their “so and so” have done to deserve those things from their parents.

When you deal with our grownup children, you cannot treat them like kids. They would be mad if you do. However, if you treat them like a grownup, they wouldn't like that either. They can become your kids conveniently or act like grownup when  suits them.

Children have their ‘rights’ to become who they want in situations that suit them!


There is no winning with your own children. If they’re successful, they take the credit – “I work my butt off,” they would say. If they can’t make it –realizing that they were wrong, they’ll always blame parents --“You screwed me up.” There is no winning!


When it comes to dealing with your own children, you can’t count on them to be accountable for their mistakes. They will tell “We’re only human being. Making mistakes is how we learn”. But if you try telling them your experiences and suggest them, giving examples of someone who are diligent and hardworking, they will shut you off, by telling that they wouldn’t like to be compared with anyone. “I’m not them,” is their readymade answer that fits in most of their situation!


Advice from your children's guidance counselor, psychologist or psychiatrics are useless. Most of these individuals are running with the same problems at their own home. You can’t even trust the people in your own “support-group”. Even within the circle, I’ve noticed some parents lying through their teeth to keep their children’s misbehaviours to themselves.