Can a prison be a home for someone?

Something we read/hear/experience sticks in our mind forever. The "Shawshank Redemption" movie is one of these memory that I can't forget even after so many years.  

The plots in this movie are great and I like most everyone playing major role in it. Beside the two main characters (Morgan Freeman and Tim Robbins), there is a third character--a long-term prisoner--who returns to prison with his own will even after completing his sentence and was free to go wherever he wished. 

I had almost forgotten his reasons to return to prison until three days ago. My experience of what happened three days ago helped me understand the reason. I had never thought this way before, but now that I've read a quite a bit and thought about it a bit,  it is true that  a prison can be a safer home for someone who has spent most of his/her life inside of it.

Shankara's explanation of the Brahman.

 

Who is the Brahman?

The fool thinks, "I am the body"; the intelligent man thinks, "I am an individual soul united with the body." But the wise man, in the greatness of his knowledge and spiritual discrimination, sees the Self as the only reality and thinks, "I am Brahman." 

Source:

https://www.onelittleangel.com/wisdom/quotes/saint.asp?mc=60

 

If god exists, evil is not comprehensible

I just finished reading Simone de Beauvoir's short novel Inseparable. Knowing Simone, I expected the major characters in this novel (the inseparable girls) would be rebellious in nature and utterly courageous. However, I hadn’t imagined them to be frighteningly bold and naively dutiful -daughters (one of them) struggling to break free from the conventional Catholic traditions of their time.  One of them more dutiful than the other, obviously, tragically sacrifices her life after tormenting herself between her love and her duty to her family. Living a life of a woman was, and still is, not easy in many developing countries, but I didn’t think having ‘temptation’ even after being engaged with your partner was considered as sin in the 1950s in Europe.

The book mirrors religious hypocrisy in France during Beauvoir’s formative years. Her expression of “If god exists, evil is not comprehensible,” is totally opposite of the wildly held belief that “We’re only the instruments of God” and “Its’ prideful to want to understand everything”.

Mother can be overwhelmed with love

We've tall and very handsome son. He is an artist and we're proud of him. He is making his own living and don't want to do anything else. He is a singer, song-writer, plays several instruments and manages his own band. This can be seen as a dedicated artist--no reason to worry about him, right? 

 

Well, we're worried about him sometimes because most artists work hard, but earn very little income. He was born a day before the Mother’s Day in May. Thus, everyone used to tell me that “He is my Mother’s Day gift”. But he was more than any gift a mother could ask. He was a happy child, easy on his approach to everything. He mimicked his elder sisters and created his own games if nobody was around. He was a perfect child anyone could imagine!

 

While growing up, he did everything we wanted him to do: He was in sports, in music, was in a math competition, and a debater. He helped us in shoveling snow in the winter and mowing lawn in the summer. He was respectful, honourable and never talked back at us. Our girls used to tell me “Mom has a soft spot for him” but who wouldn’t have for such a child?

 

The matter is, we both (my husband and I) know the value of Freethinking, and we're happy that our children are using their own mind to choose the career of their choice--not the career path we wanted for them to follow. Yet, I felt a sharp pain when I read our son explaining his experiences of  being a young brown artist struggling to survive amongst his white counterparts, and at the same time feeling abandoned by his parents when he dropped off from McGill a quite a few years back. The interview was a great exposure of his talent and look, yet I felt bad knowing his not-so-happy past! 

 

True, we didn't care about our young son as much as he needed in his earlier art career, but we were hurt and felt betrayed when he quitted one of the most prestigious colleges we had sent him to. However, he was only 17 years old, and my mind couldn't agree even with all this justifications. He was too young to leave home unattended and free.

 

To be fair, I never abandoned him. I cried many nights to sleep, and I’m sure my husband felt the same. We’re both too disappointed, but I begged with my husband to visit him. Thus, when he said his parents abandoned him--not his father abandoned him, it was hurtful. 

 

My husband is a 'successful' man and so am I. We've 'achieved' much more than many of our counterparts. But we didn't walk on the paths our parents showed us. We used our own mind and created our own successes. We're freethinkers!

 

We're advocating others to use their own head--instead of following the conventional thinking--believing in gods and heaven and hell stories. 

 

Our son is doing the respectful thing: He is pursuing his interest (singer, son-writer, and band manager), while working to support him financially.  Nothing wrong here!

 

So, why are we creating this double standard? I'm asking myself this question again and again.

Mother's Day Messages

Dear Mothers:

Wherever you’re, please take charge of your own happiness. Don’t wait until it is too late to enjoy your Coming-of-Age (old age). Don’t spend all your resources on your children only to depend on their mercy later on.

I hope your family made you feel loved and proud today. 

Please take care of yourself!

          

There’s no heaven or hell

 

 

Changing the widely held beliefs about religions and gods is not easy. But I think taking the courage to convince people that there is no heaven or hell is worth all the trouble. I wish I was this sure before my mother died—she often talked about her place in heaven and worried.

I think “The place to be happy is here. The time to be happy is now. The way to be happy is to make others so” (Robert Ingersoll). 

Mother's Day

2021

The smart and the intelligent

When our children were growing up my husband often suggested "why don't you read in  your spare time," and I would argue: “What do I get by reading?” 

I was very crude and stubborn person. I still am in many cases, but I’m a reader now and have travelled a few countries. Having seen many places and meeting with people of various faiths and cultures have broaden my view of life. Now I know we don't read only to "get" something!

However, through my experiences I’ve also learned that intelligent people are harder to manage than the smart ones.

Smartness is not born with, intelligent is in many ways Why?

Because experiences makes people smart (e.g., street smart). Smart is a knowledge that helps people to survive in certain situations. Intelligent, on the other hand, is the innate ability to figure out things faster and solve problems quicker. People are born with intelligence, while smartness is a learned behaviour.

Although intelligent people learn faster than the smarter ones, they  change only when they want!