The smart and the intelligent

When our children were growing up my husband often suggested "why don't you read in  your spare time," and I would argue: “What do I get by reading?” 

I was very crude and stubborn person. I still am in many cases, but I’m a reader now and have travelled a few countries. Having seen many places and meeting with people of various faiths and cultures have broaden my view of life. Now I know we don't read only to "get" something!

However, through my experiences I’ve also learned that intelligent people are harder to manage than the smart ones.

Smartness is not born with, intelligent is in many ways Why?

Because experiences makes people smart (e.g., street smart). Smart is a knowledge that helps people to survive in certain situations. Intelligent, on the other hand, is the innate ability to figure out things faster and solve problems quicker. People are born with intelligence, while smartness is a learned behaviour.

Although intelligent people learn faster than the smarter ones, they  change only when they want!

History repeats, definitely!

On my mother’s visit, we talked a lot about our past, as most mother and daughter do. We talked how brave she was to take care of the land my parents had, their big house and 6 children, among others. It was her sending all of us to school, giving in marriage and made sure we all lived in our own house, while my father lived part of the year in another province when we were young and then kept busy soul searching for him own peace. There’s no denying my mother’s contributions to the family, but I was amazed hearing the repeat from my mother’s mouth, especially because she never self-praised or believed in self-pity when I was growing up.

I was doing what my mother was doing during the last few months. I guess, it’s part of my own growing up too! Realization of we can’t do what we did earlier years make us feel vulnerable. Recounting our past achievements gives us some comfort.   

So, I scanned my past and revaluated my life, my husband and our children. I found my family outwardly beautiful and inwardly wonderful human being. They’re educated, humble and very modest. They’re courageous to ‘swim on the uncharted water’, which seemed like failure at the time!

We’re educated, have-seen people and places. But we’re parents! We acted as all other parents acted upon their children’s unconventional career choices.  On the one hand, we praised those who were doing something different, on the other hand we scolded our own children for wanting to take different paths from their pears. We thought only formal education guarantees our children’s future. 

I know our children may not become the Gates or Jobs, but they’re not a regular persons running to meet the deadlines like other children do. Most children live a routine pattern—school, job, marriage, home, saving, retirement, and look after their grandchildren—a path that starts from their birth and ends at death. No risk taking ability, no extraordinary venture or excitements in life. Everything planned and secured, so their parents can rest assured!

But that’s not how my husband and I lived. Looking back, we took so many risks and did  a lot of things our siblings didn’t do. For example, we were first to marry unknown person, moved to a totally new country, learned new cultures and mixed up with so many cultural groups. We raised  our children our ways, didn’t impose our parents’ culture or faith on them. 

A lot of ladies of my time didn’t go back to school after their marriage, I did. I not only went back for graduate school but worked for a few years, secured a small pension and wrote books on my 50s!  I read a lot of materials most ladies of my age can’t even imagine reading and I do some crazy stuff to my own amusement! I know my  mother was a courageous lady, but couldn’t do a lot of things she wanted. Her time was different, but she took so many risks and was proud of herself.  I always thought I was very different from mother, but I guess history does repeat! It’s the feeling I never had before.

Nirvana is not possible

Many religious epics say do this and that to get moksha or nirvana. Moksha or nirvana is their final goal. They believe that once they crossover the "other" side, they will not have to go through the birth and death cycle  and suffer anymore. In their mind nirvana is an idyllic place where there is no suffering.


But such place can't coexist when you believe the god/goddess created this world. If god/goddess created this world, he/she would want someone to take care of it. Nobody would design a thing so fondly and watch it destroyed!

If you're nonegodbeliever (atheist) still fact wouldn't change. For example, if the world is evolving all the time as the physicists argue, then all living being would be evolving also. Nothing would stay in the same physical form--water evaporates and forms cloud, cloud melts and comes down as rain, rain freezes and becomes ice.... Similarly, rock turns to sand and sand collects more sand and turns to rock.

Human being may look a bit different physically or mentally because of our experiences and changing environment, but we don't become extinct!

Remembering the cousin I lost

Today is the brother "worshipping" day in Nepal. Formally this day is called the "Bhai Tika" day. Since the Nepalese are spread out all over the world in this very globalised world, the tradition of celebrating Bhai Tika has come in Canada, too.

But my family doesn't follow the tradition. We left Nepal a long time ago and lived in the societies where there were no other Nepalese until fairly recently. Besides, we didn't follow many of the traditions even in Nepal.  So, not worshiping doesn't make me sad, but I do make a point of remembering all the brothers I did worshipped when I was in Nepal on this very auspicious day.

As usual, I called my brother--the one I was paired with by my parents--last night. I call this brother "Mailodai". While talking with Mailodai and wishing him longevity and wellbeing, a cousin's name came out of my mouth, suddenly. Since this cousin didn't have his own sister, I used to take him as my own brother and bless him on this day, also.

Unfortunately, this cousin died of cancer about 5 years ago.  I had not talked about him with other brothers  on this day. Why did his name came to me yesterday? I felt a bit uneasy after we ended out conversation with Mailodai last night!

Then, this morning I send my blessing to another brother of mine who lives in California. This brother I adopted when I was in my teen age. By this time my cousin brother had adopted another sister. So, we both had new brother and new sister for Bhai Tika.

I've a few other cousin brothers also, but I wasn't as close with them as I was with this one. This cousin was only 6 hours younger to me and we did so many things together. Later when we grew up, he took me around the town in his motorcycle and made other ladies of my age very jealous!

So, what made my cousin take another sister? And, why did my "new" brother asked me to adopt him? These questions came to my mind for the first time this morning after all these years.

The truth was, my cousin was forced to adopt the other sister by his father, my uncle. My uncle thought my cousin would benefit from the new sister because her social status was much higher than mine.

But as the saying goes: God works mysteriously, my cousin came to England in his early 20s, and his adopted sister stayed in Nepal. On the other hand, I came to Canada and my adopted brother moved to the US. This brother of mine was also my husband 's classmate in college.

So, we're in contact with this brother and his wonderful wife. We're making two week's cruse in Europe together. His wife and my husband are as excited as my adopted brother and I are!  All of us are really looking forward to this trip together.

AD, CE, BCE, BC and the "c" Explained

For the longest time I kept myself from remembering what all these abbreviations stand for. BC was the easiest to remember since it was directly connoted with Jesus Christ, but my brain couldn't clearly file the meaning of all others even after reading numerous times!


Yesterday I decided I'm going to end the confusions, and now  here is the way I understand them:


AD literally means "Anno Domini" in Latin language. Anno Domini translated to The Year of the Lord or In the Year of Jesus Christ. So, if the Christ lived for 33 years, the AD means during the 33 years when Christ lived, rest of the abbreviations stand for either before the Christ time or after.


But what is confusing to me is the use of the CE and AD interchangeably. They're two very different abbreviations, why are they treated as the same?


Because, we've gotten so conscious of other religions around the world and want to avoid using a particular religious reference. So, we write CE or BCE to indicate the year something had happened.

Then, there is the "c" written in small letter. Sometime that c becomes "ca". These are also the Latin words. These words come handy when we don't know the exact date of something happened in the past.


So, the CE means "common era" in English. BCE stands for "before the common era". And,  the "c" represents approximate era to indicate we don't know the exact date!


Unlike the other abbreviations (BC, BCE, AD, and CE), c is written before the year. For example, c.400 BCE means 400 years before the common era--copied from the source below.


Now the fun part:


Do you know there are more than a few different calendars that started in different times, in different parts of the world, and written in different languages? Here are a few of them:

Julian Calendar...
Hebrew Calendar. ...
Hijri Calendar. ...
Iranian Muslim Calendar. ...
Buddhist Calendar. ...
Nepal Sambat, Vikram Samvat, Shaka Samvat ...
Japanese Calendar. ...
Chinese Calendars,
and many others...


While the Gregorian Calendar is the most widely used in the Western World today, many other traditional calendars continue to be important in other regions. Some of these calendars are based the Sun (solar), some on the Moon (lunar), and some are based on both (lunisolar).  

Sources: Worldatlas, Wikipedia common, and the Khan Academy (Dr. Beth Harris and Dr. Steven Zucker.

You can't change others

For years I kept trying to change some of the people in my circle only to get frustrated at the end. I thought they could use some of my wisdom that was derived from my years of experiences--being with the people of various races and backgrounds. My experiences have helped me change my views of the world drastically. I thought those people who I think are lacking integrity and empathy could learn some of the "mannerism" for their own wellbeing, I thought.


In my mission to 'change' others, I lost quite a few hours for a quite few years. I must have gotten older a few years in this mission of mine. I had frustrated me also to see someone doing the same old nuisance again and again. "


Finally, with the help of someone and the literatures I read, I think I got the answers now.

I've realised that we can't change others since everything people do come from within themselves--presumably from their mind, they themselves consciously have to seek for change. Nobody can change their mind for them!


I'm a Gemini. I love to share things--whatever I've, so I was offering my unsolicited advise to people. But I didn't know that people come to this world with their own past "sanskar" to live the life they had built in past life. They inner-ears can't hear me, or anyone else, in that matter. They will hear what they need to hear and will do exactly that!


My new found wisdom has released me from thinking about others and try changing them :-) 

The Have and have-not are not equal

My mother used to say “hune ra nhune lagdaina joda”. In English it translates to "the haves can’t compete with the have-nots".

I see that true in every field I look at. I see it in financial sector,  in knowledge, in looks, in experience, in skills, and so on.

Although these are natural phenomena and and existed always, realisation of this phenomena stunned me this afternoon after reading a few stories that were heart achingly terrible!