My mom was not a drug addict and sex trader

Please read this to understand why some women do what they do:

For two years now, The Missing Women Inquiry in B.C. has been investigating how so many women - no one knows the exact number - could be murdered right under the nose of the Vancouver Police Department.

One of those women was Brenda Wolfe, a mother of two young girls.

Not much is known about Brenda Wolfe. She came to Vancouver's Downtown East Side from southern Alberta. She liked country music. She liked to dance. She could be kind. She could be very tough. And she'd do whatever it took to support her two daughters, Angel and Destiny.

It was at the intersection of Main and Hastings, in front of the Balmoral Hotel, that Brenda Wolfe was last seen alive. She was 30 years old. Three years later, her remains were found on Robert Pickton's pig farm.

Wally Oppal, the commissioner of the Missing Women's Inquiry, heard from 83 witnesses. Brenda Wolfe's daughter Angel, now 19, was one of them. Mr. Oppal is expected to release his report within the next few weeks.

This week, though, we bring you Angel's story. For the first five years of Angel's life, the downtown east side was home. Angel Wolfe is one of many who have spent a lifetime coming to terms with what happened there. Here in her own words, is the story of Brenda's Angel.

Some of what you will hear may be disturbing to some listeners.

Angel Wolfe is an active social justice volunteer and public speaker. She works with the organization, Sex Trade 101, to help women and their children to escape the sex trade. She is also an active volunteer with Canadian Roots Exchange, an organization dedicated to bridging the gap between young Aboriginal and non-Aboriginal Canadians. One day, Angel hopes to go back to school and become a police officer.

Brenda's Angel was produced by Marjorie Nichol

Source:  The Sunday Edition with Michael Enright, CBC Radio One

Available at:         http://www.cbc.ca/thesundayedition/documentaries/2013/07/07/a-daughter-a-mother-and-vancouvers-missing-women/

Note: If you  rather hear this compelling story from Brenda’s own "Angle", please click at:

http://www.cbc.ca/thesundayedition/popupaudio.html?clipIds=2311365632

Behind every successful man is a woman

After so many years I accidently got to watch The Flintstones and loved it! This is the 1960’s shows, of course, but you still can watch the re-runs, I didn’t know.

Flintstones used to be one of my favorite shows when children were growing up and, I especially loved the episode when Fred takes credit for his best pal Burney's heroic act (saving a girl from a runaway carriage). But with his wife, Wilma's, help he gets his conscience back and confess that Barney is the real hero, not him.

Like Wilma and Marge (The Simpsons), I wonder how many brainy wives are behind their "successful" men, helping their husbands do the right thing for their own family and for the greater good?

The Flintstones and The Simpsons are family shows you should make some time to watch with your family. 

For fun shake, I searched for other family shows and found these:

Harold Coffin

Behind every successful man you'll find a woman who has nothing to wear.

http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/h/haroldcoff391973.html#OAD5GMJihwAOspTB.99


 A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. 

Lana Turner
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/successful_man.html#vGwyAIRgA2D75qua.99

The man who has the courage of his platitudes is always a successful man.

Van Wyck Brooks
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/successful_man.html#rmqhMFQ0J8XyykhC.99

Bob Brown
Behind every successful man there's a lot of unsuccessful years.
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/successful_man.html#5sePcXjVDyWSSB2U.99

Clement Stone
Every great man, every successful man, no matter what the field of endeavor, has known the magic that lies in these words: every adversity has the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit.

More from Clement Stone
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/successful_man.html#rmqhMFQ0J8XyykhC.99

The successful man doesn't use others, other people use the successful man, for above all the success is of service.

 Mark Caine
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/successful_man.html#rmqhMFQ0J8XyykhC.99

The successful man is the one who had the chance and took it.

Roger Babson
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/successful_man.html#rmqhMFQ0J8XyykhC.99


Source: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/successful_man.html

Born empty handed and will die empty handed

I heard one of my childhood friends was hit by a vehicle last night. She is lying flat lifelessly in the hospital bed in her town, while the doctors are trying to figure out the severity of her injured brain, another friend of mine reported me.

I grew up side-by-side with both of these friends in the same town. The first friend was a vivacious person with an inquisitive mind and strong body when we’re growing up. She performed better than I did in school and in sports. She had to be on ‘top’ always and aggressively yearned for wealth. She didn’t need much sleep or any other form of physical rest as her mind overworked tirelessly.

With her hard work and determinations, she had amassed everything she wanted! She had a long career with the government, few rental properties nearby to cover her living costs, and her investments in the financial markets were growing exponentially. Most of these investments she will never have to touch since her residual income (passive income) were enough for her and her family to live even if they survived for hundred more years!

This friend of mine had been buying property left and right. She never let go of any ‘good’ piece of land or home that had a potential to increase overnight-value. Once, she even bought the piece of land behind her mother for which her mother had already made advance payments for to secure the deal.Her love for money had over shadowed her conscience. She had forgotten that we were born empty handed and will die empty handed. 

When she had a liquidity problems (she ran out of cash in her bank), this friend of mine borrowed money from her friends and relatives and financed the properties she eyed to --not because she needed but simply out of greed!  She often borrowed from the relatives or friends who had the least for themselves, because my friend calculated that by exploiting the people with no ‘voice’ in the public her aggression would be kept secret from the public.

Now, my friend is lying on the hospital bed disoriented, I heard. Most of her body-parts are wrapped in bandage, they tell me. However, she can talk a little, although not coherently. She can drink a little, although has not been able to keep in her stomach for long. She started to go to washroom with the help of her family and friends since yesterday, they assured me. Thanks to her iron-will, which seems to be still functioning well!

Midst of my friend’s ordeal, I heard that her husband is running around looking for a person to borrowing money from. He needed the money for his wife’s treatments, he's been telling people.  While his lifeless wife barely knows what is happening around her, he on the other hand, seems to be ‘too aware’ of the depleting savings in their bank accounts.

Putting everything together, it seems that my friend will live a few more years with minor disability, since all of her vital-parts seem to have started working reasonably well. Is this a good news for the people exploited by my friend for all these years? I don't know.


Regardless of her attitude, she is a wife, mother and a few other things to her family members.  I wonder how her quality of life would be from now on. Will she be the needy person she was in all her life? Or, she will be the convert one with totally healthy life style, I ponder.

I grew up hearing, “as you sow, so shall you reap”, but I was sceptical about it, as I had seen many people getting away with their wrong deeds. But with the news about this friend,  I'm fairly comfortable to assume that you get back what you give to others.  

Not to take seriously: An advice to parents

Learning not to take your own children seriously. It's hard, but we must do it in order to save ourselves from a lot of headaches. Seriously!


Most parents consider their children part of them and they are, theoretically. This was the thinking of most children also until a few decades ago, which made the world go-around smoothly for so many centuries. But the time has changed.

Now, most of the children don’t think the same way their parents do. These children are not capable of thinking about their parents. This does not mean they would not expect help of all sort from their parents; they do. In fact, they automatically think what belongs to their parents is theirs also and they think it is their rights to seek help from parents when they are in difficulty, but not vice versa!

They would come home and tell you “so and so’s parents did this and that for their children” But they would never take the time to find out what their “so and so” have done to deserve those things from their parents.

When you deal with our grownup children, you cannot treat them like kids. They would be mad if you do. However, if you treat them like a grownup, they wouldn't like that either. They can become your kids conveniently or act like grownup when  suits them.

Children have their ‘rights’ to become who they want in situations that suit them!


There is no winning with your own children. If they’re successful, they take the credit – “I work my butt off,” they would say. If they can’t make it –realizing that they were wrong, they’ll always blame parents --“You screwed me up.” There is no winning!


When it comes to dealing with your own children, you can’t count on them to be accountable for their mistakes. They will tell “We’re only human being. Making mistakes is how we learn”. But if you try telling them your experiences and suggest them, giving examples of someone who are diligent and hardworking, they will shut you off, by telling that they wouldn’t like to be compared with anyone. “I’m not them,” is their readymade answer that fits in most of their situation!


Advice from your children's guidance counselor, psychologist or psychiatrics are useless. Most of these individuals are running with the same problems at their own home. You can’t even trust the people in your own “support-group”. Even within the circle, I’ve noticed some parents lying through their teeth to keep their children’s misbehaviours to themselves.

A Dream became reality for the Frederictonians

Fredericton has its own ‘cultural’ building, housing all the ethnic groups under one roof. This was the vision of a few people in my community including myself, so when it finally became a reality (yesterday), I was very emotional. I couldn’t help it!

https://www.theculturalcentre.ca/about/our-history

Who am I: Sunita's story

I met an old household helper today. She told me that I was the best boss she ever had and that she misses me very much.

This was not the first time I had heard such compliment from my former helpers. But this time I felt different.

I treat my helpers as human being, not as an object to fulfill my cleaning needs. Unlike some people I know, my eyes fills with tears when I see or hear others suffering. I can be happy when others success and sad when they fail miserably. I've been this way all my life. I've inherited these treats from my mother.

After hearing time and again, “You’re so negative, nobody wants to be around you” and “ You've lost so many opportunities because of your loudmouth”, I really needed to hear some constructive quality of mine. I needed to be appreciated and be assured that my sense of righteousness has a place in this 'me, me' world. I knew I was doing something right, among a lot of wrong, but I needed confirmation.

Hi, Sunita is my disguised name. I'm hiding my real name for my privacy shake. I've lost a lot of money-making opportunities because I can't focus on my own welfare. Nor I'm able to go along with those who think about themselves all the time.

No matter how hard I try, I can't lose my conscience and I’m too damn sensitive to my own detriment. That’s who I am!

Playing with Emotions

The hypothesis that most women stay in abusive relationships for their own economic benefits does not measure up in my opinion, b/c I know more than one way of measuring relationships.

Women stay in relationship for more than economic reason and, sometimes they cling onto the relationship they never had because of the way they brought up. Let me share a story to demonstrate how this works:

An elderly lady I knew when I was growing up had joined a group of people that she had no connection with in her entire 70 years of life. The group she joined remotely relates to her good-for-nothing husband --the husband who married her at her tender age of 16 and left her in a society where her remarrying chance  is Zero!

The lady was with her husband for about six months. Even within this period she didn’t have physical contact with him according to her recent testimony. Other than this brief period, she has been living with her parents (dead now) for all her life. How did she think she belonged to her estrange husband and his family circle?   But she strongly believes she does!

Her estrange husband is probably married and living happily somewhere, while this lady is spending a lonely life for all these years.

The news of this lady joining the group took me back! I began thinking about the logic behind this lady and others like her mind.

When I was a child, I had heard that girls are conditioned to feel certain ways about the man they would marry later on. With so much brainwashing on how a husband should be treated and how to be a wife, it’s easy to accept any man in life and pretend to fall in love.

Girls in many societies are raised in such a way that they learn to take the word “husband” in a very emotional way. The promise to take care of each other in health and in sickness  in marriage they take literally. But not the man they marry, because men are permitted by our society to remarry thousand times!

Marriage vows are developed and construed by male in our male-dominated societies. Most ladies don't consider this and believe that there is no other relationship more promising, comforting and connecting to each other than the relationships between a husband and wife. No wonder marriages are taken so seriously by many women in our societies, but not by many men..

The circumcisions of young boys and girls (happens mostly in Judaism and Islam societies), the child-bride cultures, the polygamous philosophy, the untouchable cultures in some pockets of the world, and the abuses, rapes and murders that we read and hear every day in our societies are all part of the brainwashing. Brainwashing is the most powerful strategy used systematically to justify what is already known is the only truth, everything else is false!

Many girls in our societies are systematically brainwashed at home through the dialogues between their mother and father. Then the society reinforces further to make these assertions legal. How else can we explain millions of powerful women taking slaves role and treating their husband is a master?

Every temples, churches and mosques are built to reinforce these "master and slaves" roles. Folklores are written and recited again and again to shape the girls' brain certain ways.By the time the girls reach their puberty, they are completely sold to the idea that without their husband they are nobody. Their unwavering-faith towards their husband provides them with the emotional security that they can’t imagine their life without their husband. Because of this, most men see their marriage as a through-lane, instead of the two-way traffic lanes, where the traffic rules apply to both husband and wife.