Life is a balance-sheet

My husband keeps his accounts balanced every single times.  For example, if he eats little too much the day before, he skips his breakfast the next day. If he goes to bed a little earlier than his usual bedtime, he wakes up earlier than usual time and goes to work. If he can't sleep at night, he gets up and start working on his paper, or whatever work is pending. If he is upset with an outsider, he takes his frustration out with an insider. If he is happy, he shows that too.  You know what I mean? His balance sheets are always balanced!

I was always amazed at my husband's ingenuity. He reads and watches a lot of motivational articles/shows to pump him up. So, I thought of watching a motivational show on how to get up early in the morning. 

My problem of getting up early morning wasn’t about waking up, it was about not going to  bed on time, the speaker on the show said.  "Sleeping has to be at the same time consistently every night," she emphasised. People can’t wakeup because they don’t go to bed early enough to give them enough sleep. "It's not the waking problem people have, it's the problem with their bedtime," she said confidently.

You see, our body needs only so many hours' sleep every day. Sleep hours differ from person to person, depending on the individual's needs, but people do wakeup after certain hours. Humans are built that way! 

This discovery helped me find an answer of my another question. I'm a bad sleeper. I feel that I've never gotten a good night's rest. I feel that my mind and ears are always active. So, when I wake up at night, I get anxious but stay in bed.

That was my problem number two! Sleep comes only when body is relaxed--I've known this for years. So, lying down in bed and hopping to fall asleep again meant not only I was losing sleep, but also losing time that I could have used to achieve something else. 

Moral of the story is life is a balance sheet. If our balance sheet doesn't balance, there is a good reason for it!  

"Life is a series of delicate balances. When one balance is lost, another must be found"
Source: Unknown

Our carryover life

My inner mind knows I can’t make everything I wand or desire happen for me or for anyone else.  Moreover, I see some truth in the saying:  “luck and wisdom go hand-on-hand”.  How else can we describe thousands of unexplainable incidences happening everywhere in this world? 

As much as I like to believe that luck is made with hard work and good attitude, there are the evidences that mental capacity of every normal baby is the same, but some of them know exactly who they want to become when they grow up, but others never can figure out. Why some of them seek others advice, while others hate to be told what to do? We’ve seen these phenomena among the children born and raised by the same parents in the  exact same environment.

There are so many why’s I can think of, but can’t explain. So, I know it’s not me to make my fate or anyone else. Still I worry sometime and lose several nights’ sleep.  This is life. In life we need to work, worry sometime and engage in good/bad karma to carryover to our next life.

Power of thoughts

Please don’t  remind me of my past 

Instead, tell me what I can do to change my tomorrow

Let me be pure soul, peaceful and full of love
Love me and show me that you care

Tell me that everything will be alright, again

Instead of telling me that everything is bad because of me!

Remind me that people are capable of changing

Remind me that people are capable of loving

Send me the positive vibration now and then, reminding me that

Good things are coming!

Don’t be hurt and prevent others from hurting me 

Send me the good vibration and I’ll send you mine

By accepting the way we’re,

Let’s change our destiny 

By changing some of our bad sanskars with the good ones

By doing all this, you’re creating your destiny, and 

I’m creating mine!

Feeling myself again

After going through a full circle of sadness, I’ve come back to myself now 

It’s hard to express how I felt all these years

Living with no hope and sadness everywhere

Then, I realized I can’t change my  past 

But I can my future if I try!

I’m reading a lot of literatures these days

Some are academic and lot are spiritual

They’ve given me some hope to change my future

Solving my problems are within my power

One-by-one I can make things right,
if I hold my thoughts and look at the bright side.

I started changing my thoughts, like the bulb I replaced today

The hallway was dark when we moved into its way

And remained the darkness for the last 25 days

Today I decided to replace the burnout bulb with the new one

It’s done now, no more darkness in our hallway!

Today I fixed the patio screen door in our balcony

It was off the track for the last few days

It came off the track when my husband tried opening it wider

He tried putting back the screen door, but couldn’t find a way

Today I decided to fix it, but I couldn’t the first three times

I pushed the door a little inside and put it back on its position

I did it with my persistence efforts and determination!

Our consciousness survives bodily death

Our consciousness is not created by our mind or made out of the physical materials, says Dr. Alexander, the American neurosurgeon and author.


I always believed there is a spirit-world that no sciences so far are able to explain. In fact, I had expressed my belief on these issues in my book “Longing to Belong: An Immigrant Woman’s Story”. The spirit texts are under the title, My Mother’s Visit.


Here is a piece on that topic in my book that I so passionately wrote: “…my attitude towards living and dying has changed after my mother’s death... In those early days of my mother’s passing I used to read a lot of “psychic connection” books. One of them was “Making the Psychic Connection,” by James Van Praagh. This book made me believe that I could actually connect with my mother’s spirit and talk with her if I developed certain psychic skills.


Dev and I used to discuss “spirit” things a lot in those days. He used to tell me, “If the spirits of all the deceased existed, where will they be? We’ll be living and breathing with the spirits; it’s not possible!” And, he used to give me all the statistics of the dead people in this world:


“Say, the average population of the world was 2 billion (there were fewer people living before our time) and about 10 percent of them died each year. It would be 200,000,000 dead people each year. Now, multiply this number by 4.5 billion (it is estimated that our world is 4.5 billion years old). How many spirits would be there?”

However, I had argued with him that our earth is only one of the many planets in the universe, and I have read that if we can achieve deeper levels of awareness, we can feel the presence of the spirits everywhere.

Moreover, I have witnessed the presences of spirit right at my parent’s home and had told him some of my experience of a family member’s spirit visiting me that I still remember vividly…

PS: Dev is my husband’s middle name. Since this book consists of my family-stories from both sides, I didn’t want to use his formal name.

Why me, why us?

I like to believe that the world I’m living in is designed by the God. If it was designed by a human, it would have been perfect, because humans are greedy. We’re opportunistic and always go for the best.


God, on the other hand, is unlike humans. He/She loves us all, and treats us all the same way. His/Her main purpose of creating this world with all the living being is to keep this world go around-and-round, never stall or end ever!


In the process of creating the world, first God created the earth with beautiful meadows with grass and brooks. He/She landscaped the land with low-hills with trees and shrubs and high-mountains with snow and icecaps Then, God added ponds and rivers in the dropped a few species of fish and see-animals. God also added some dense forests in earth and created small and large animals and birds to wonder around.


God, then, created humans and programmed their minds each differently. To some He/She gave a good mind, capable of making the right decisions every time. To others God gave not-so-clever mind to keep these human in confusions. God also created a few humans with bad mind. These bad-minded-humans occasionally create problems in the land they live in. God thought the world would progress and regress this way, never go to any extreme. After creating all these, God checked his world and made sure it isn’t imperfect.


I was born in this imperfect world in which I can eat whatever I like and chose to do what I please. There’s no restriction to anything here and no shortage to anything one wants to ponder. I gave birth to my children here. They believe they also have choices to eat what they like and act how they please until they watch this video below:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnu8t51mVoU