Suffering of the progressive people

The amazing character of the, so called, progressive people is hard to understand at first, because they manage to give you a perfect persona. For example, these people are extremely hardworking, diligent and pleasant to talk to. They seem to have all the skills and intelligence they need to make things happen--not just for themselves but also for others by lending their hands to help others.



These people are often charming and trustworthy. They seem to take others advice easily and learn from others’ mistakes. They recognize goodness in people and try associating only with these sort of people. They keep these people by their side even in their most difficult, tight-scheduled time, because they know these qualities will come handy for them someday.

This kind of drive doesn’t always work for the progressive people, however; because "positivity' isn't always a hallmark, they don’t understand. They only know how to move forward, not backward. But everybody has their setbacks sometimes. 

Also, while certain numbers of activities are necessary to live a normal life, taking more than manageable can tip life's balance that they don’t seem to understand.

Act of balancing is necessary in order to live happy and fulfilling life. But balancing act is not as easy as it sounds even for the most experienced ones, because it takes a broad prospective to maintain a balance between health and happiness. The challenge for the progressive people is that they always walk on the edge; there is no room left to maneuver for balance!

Because of their overarching ambitions, progressive people sometimes create their own suffering by putting their hands on too many things. They trip on their own intelligence, and sometimes they dig their own grave.

A very successful woman

Maintaining positivity is hard when one starts his or her life from a very dire situation. Yet, quite few of my close encounters have managed to do just that. As a story writer, this always fascinated me.

However, writing about somebody is not easy because of the privacy issues. I’ve to be always mindful of the privacy of the person I’m writing about, and this privacy issue limits my ability to become a “effective” story writer—I can never write the truth in my stories!

Despite the obstacles, I keep writing, and it is for the good purposes. For example, a bad news catches people’s attention before the good news does. This doesn’t mean there are more bad stories than the good ones. It’s just means people pay more attention to the bad news than the good noes. It’s just the way there is!

I know that there are two sides of every story, and I want the ‘positive’ people to know that things are not always the way it looks from outside. What looks like ‘success’ from out side may actually have come from a very dark side that the characters in the story don’t want to reveal. On the other hand, a "failure" many not be failure at all--since success follows failure and failure follows success usually, it's the cycle the person is, not the situation.

For example, I met a young lady a few years back. She seemed very successful. She had everything: She was educated, married with high-earner husband, studious children, big house and some bank balances. She looked happy and talked very sweet.

As I became familiar to her through a close-relative of mine, I found out that she actually has very little to be happy about. She had grown up in a poor family. She had lost her mother when she was a toddler. Her father was alcoholic, and she was raised by her grandparents in the house which was shared by four of her uncles and their families. None of her relatives were kind to her when she was growing up. She had learned to survive in that situation by smilling when she was frustrated and talk sweet when she was angry!

She also share her belongings with others and showed how caring she was, but inside she was boiling with anger and frustrations. Looking at her disposition, nobody could imagine who she really was.

People growing up in such situation become either totally useless person by dwelling upon their misfortune or a very resilient person. She had takes the later path and was determined to change the course of fait and never look back. 

Her story fascinated me. The more I hear about her the more I became interested to know her more and found out that she is polite to get what she needs from others. She calculated her every move. Hardship hardly affected her. She was used to facing them daily.

The Happiness Advantage-A Book Review

This was one of the “overdue” book-reviews that was siting in one of my computer files until I decided to publish today. The author of this book is too popular to be introduced, and this is one of his internationally best sold books. Yet, I hadn’t read it until a few weeks ago.

As the name of the book suggests, this book is about happiness and how it fuels our brain to succeed. In this book, Shawn explains how ‘happiness’ has been normally interpreted, the thought that success brings happiness, instead of realizing happy people are ‘successful’. 

I’m not Shawn, who has inspired even the most educated and elite people as a teacher, author and a best guest-speaker But I was always in the opinion that happy people are successful. In fact, this was one of my contentions with my husband. I wanted to raise happy children. He wanted to raise successful children!

Shawn has outlined the ‘rules’ to turn peoples’ bad habits into the good ones in "Seven Principles" in this book.  He has explained why happiness is an advantage to successes in numerous examples. 

There are thousand of other books on positivity in the markets. We can read them or listen to hundreds of inspiring lectures. Nothing will happen, unless we’re convinced in our mind that CHANGE IS POSSIBILE. 

This book reinforced my belief that no phycologist, psychiatrist, books, or lecture can change our 'fortune' (make us successful) until we ourselves determine to change our mind and put all our efforts towards making our dream come true. For this change first, we need to define what we dream for, then we need to work hard relentlessly. 

Most people know the meaning of "habit" because it's literal meaning is the same for everywhere. But the words "good" and "bad" are subjective. Because of this, many people find difficulties in turning their bad habits into good ones.

Bhaitika 2018

Tihar used to be one of my fondest festivals when I was growing up. Unlike my siblings, I was too kind and too sensitive about killing, so I didn’t enjoy Dashain festival, especially the Austami day when goats used to be slaughtered at my parents’ home every year. But everyday of Tihar gave me a very pleasant feeling. From Kag Tihar to Bhai Tika—five days’ festival, I enjoyed thoroughly!

This year one of my brothers and his wife are in Virginia, USA. They don’t have visa to visit me, but I was thinking of visiting them at one point. Then, my husband reminded me how they had neglected him and our son in one of their visits to this brother’s family in Nepal. My husband’s memory reminded me of other bad memories about this brother and his wife. They had not only neglected our mother but also humiliated in front of their son-in-law—my mother’s granddaughter’s husband. All that means no visit to this brother.

But I still was looking forward to exchanging our memories and experiences of the time this brother and I were growing up. I’m a middle daughter—I’ve one older and one younger sisters—and he is a middle son. So, we used to get along quite well when growing up. I was hoping to talk about those days.

I was also hoping to exchange our worldly experiences and our understanding of the spirituality. Now that both of us are at the age, everyday is a blessing. Material stuff are not important to us as they were in earlier days.

I knew his faith is not the same as mine--he strictly follows a sect of religion within the Hinduism—and I think all religions are equal.

Still, I was hoping to exchange our views on matters that concern to all elder human beings. But, no! Every time I called him this sister-in-law brought up how lucky she is with regards to her children and it is all because of her good karma in her past life. Then, she would start bragging about how well her daughter is living in Virginia. After hearing more than three time, I had to tell them “everybody lives well in North America”. 

What I was trying to tell them was that our relatives may have 4 or 5 story houses in Nepal, but they’re using one flat for themselves. Rest of the house is rented for their second income. Also, “two bedrooms” means two rooms in Nepal—they count every corner of the house as room. But here two bedrooms usually means there is at least one full bathroom (some comes with two or three), one kitchen, living room (may also have a separate dining room, family room, storage etc.) We’re currently renting a townhouse with all these plus a garage. So, living well for them could mean very different thing then living well for us.

But I think they took the other way. I tried calling them twice the next day, actual Bhai tika day, they didn’t pick up the phone. I suddenly realized they had been taking me “wrong”. They wanted me to just listen to them and say they had done a lot of pundye in their past lives so they could visit different countries and are having good time.

He is my brother and they were his family. They may not care about my feelings, but I do care about theirs. They may not understand it’s not polite to talk about themselves and brag about their fortune, but I do know it is rude.

So, I let them go the way they are and wrote this to him:

Dear  Mailodai,

Happy Daitika!

सधैझै बिहानै भगबानसित दाइको दीर्घाऊ र शुस्वातको माग गरे  अनि हजुरको वाइबर र  मैसेन्जर मा फोन गरेकी थिए. दुबईमा उठेन।  म हजुरहरुलाई वेट्न आउनु पर्थियो सकींन। नरमाइलो लगियो  र लामो वाकमा गए। 

मलाई आमाको नाम्मा एउटा स्कोलारशीप इस्थापना गर्न मनछ ज्वाईको पैसा नपरिकन. तेस्को लागि अब आउने अप्रिलमा नेपाल जाने प्रडछ .  तियो नगरी अरु  केहि गर्न मन्नै छैन. यो क़ुरा हजुरसित भननखोजे धेरैचोटी तर क़ुरा सधै आरकै तीर पुगियो, सारि !  

भगबानले हजुरलाई सधा शुखी राखून। लव यू सोमच 

हैप्पी भाईटिका 

बैनी, ससि 

The Religions Book: For A Book Review

Are all Religions equal?

A lot of people will have problems with this question. It’s because their emotions run deep when they hear about the religion they belong to, and that they think theirs’ is superior than anyone else.

Not easy to be impartial when it comes to writing about one's faith. But the authors—nine renowned theological scholars on world’s major faiths—of The RELIGIONS BOOK have managed to do just that, either by being impartial or by accepting “there is no logic in religions”.

Just by looking at the cover of the book one can see that the book covers everything—from “beside me there is no other god” to “the body may die but the soul will live on” to “so many faiths, so many paths, and “what’s true for me is the truth”.

This is a great read for someone who knows nothing or a very little about the origins (histories) of religions. The book will also come handy for others who wants to check their ‘facts’ or verify what they already know in the field of religions. For both the groups, this book will work as the encyclopedia of religion. 

Religions are sacred beliefs. The authors have just stated the information they have collected in this book; they’ve not debated. This is one of the most useful books I've read on religion, and I highly recommend the use of this book for reference.

2018’s Thanksgiving Day

This is 2018’s Thanksgiving Day. I’m thinking all the way back when we started celebrating Thanksgiving days with our children in Canada. I’m remembering how I used to decorate our front porch with fall flowers and dry branches, the lineup pumpkins, the colourful writhe, the big flowerpots with hanging geraniums and tall grass in front of our house. I enjoy the flashback of our children enjoying and decorating our formal dining table. These are the things of the past, but I’ve cherished them all in my memories!


Yesterday we invited a few families with their little girls. I cooked variety of food for grownups and ordered pizza and cake for the girls. My husband was anxious about how the new people will behave and how we’ll manage to enjoy the party. But it turned out a fun-filled evening for all of us! We went to bed being thankful to God.


This morning I took a leisurely walk, enjoying the marvellous colours of the fall and the wilderness in our neighbourhood. Feeling grateful and thanking God that there is nothing like nature. No invention, no technology, no human or any living being can replicate what nature is able to create!

There are many things I wished I knew when I was growing up. For example, if I knew how important public relations and networking are for our mental, financial and public life, I wouldn’t have burned my bridge.


With all my ignorance, I’m still proud of my decision to marry the man I did, have the children I’ve and for my courage to go back to school. Yes, there are nights I can’t sleep thinking about my children’s futures. Yes, I curse my family middle of some nights/evenings and in between my prayers. But it’s life. Comparing to the alternatives I would have if I wasn’t married or not have children, this is a much better life I’m living. 

Reclaiming my life

My husband had been telling me “Take time to walk”. “If you don’t have health, there is nothing you can enjoy”. Walking is good, I knew, but I was busy with things—sometimes I had to finish a book or blogpost/book chapter, other times I had to finish cleaning my house. Sometimes I had to be somewhere for someone, and other times I had to be somewhere for myself. For one thing or other, I’d not been able resume my walk everyday.


Then, I lost the ‘small’ of my back while trying to pickup a piece of pepper from the flour. A sharp pain suddenly surged throughout my back and I knew I had slipped one or more of my discs, causing pressure on my spinal cord and nervous system.


With God’s grace I eventually recovered my back, but I didn’t forget the pain! The pain stayed with me whole day, reminding me how fragile our life really is, and I determined to walk every morning as long as I live once I recovered from the injury.


Yesterday I walked on the pathway that connects a small neighbourhood to the middle school, where two of our children attended, in my community. While passing through the pathway I noticed a fairly large patch of wild peas. I’d noticed this patch many times during our walks in the fall, and tried taking picture many times, but my husband discouraged me, laughing and telling me how a small thing can distract me from a Big thing at hand! This morning I was alone, and I had my cellphone with me.

             

Patches of Kootooli Kosha plant with their drying our pods

The patch of springing plants above are called “Kootooli Kosha” in Nepal. Kootooli Kosha are the tiny peas in pods. They taste similar to the "small" peas grown and sell in Nepal, but these peas are a bit stronger and they're lightly bitter. They come in deep-green and slightly yellois--mung bean colour . They are wild peas, grows along the pathway in the wilderness in Nepal. Since this variety is not available in North America most people may not know about this type of peas.


As children, my friends and I used to pull a few springs of kootooli kosha on our way to school or back to home. There was never enough kootooli kosha to fill our stomach, but it was fun to chew on while walking with friends leisurely.



Although this patch above is drying out along with the pods of the kootooli kosha, this patch brought back some of my fun memories with my friends, and reminded other patches of kootooli koshas in my parents’ fields. It was a reminder of how a small thing like nibbling on the humble grain with my family members and friends can be a life-time memory!

The Mind-thing

This is a story about an elderly lady and her family. Her name is Komal. Komal means soft or gentle in Sanskrit.


Komal grew up in a cultured family. Her parents were educated people and their conscience was clear. They taught her what is “right” and what is “wrong” from the beginning. With her gentle nature and conscientious mind, she could do no wrong to anyone!


She got married with an elite man who is also considerate to others. Together they have four children. Komal stayed home and raised her children as best as she could.


The world has changed since Komal's children rearing days. Unlike her time, now the married women keep their career even after marrying and having children. Both husband and wife equally share all responsibilities, household chores and rearing children. All this means independence and financial freedom for today’s ladies!


Now old and vulnerable, Komal remembers how crazy her days used to be when her husband was building his career and their children were growing up. Buried with responsibilities, her husband always seemed tensed. He expected their house be in order and their children disciplined. He wanted his children to be seen, but not heard, just the way his father wanted when he was growing up.


With age and experience, Komal's husband has changed. Now he believes children should be able to interact with their parents freely. He tells, “Mind is everything”. “You can do anything you like with your mind,” to other children. He gives example of persons who’ve changed the world phenomenally by properly channeling their mind.


Komal knows her husband is doing the right thing. Guiding young people based on past experiences of what works what doesn't is the duty of her and her husband. But her heart aches every time her husband boosts other children’s self-confidence. Her chest tightens every time her husband gives good advise to other children and she becomes emotionally tensed suddenly.

Settling down slowly

My life had been all over the places: at friends’ homes, beaches, parks, weddings and other celebrations. Sometimes a bit hectic, but they were all fun activities. They legitimized my living!


Then we moved back to a new rental place that required some planning and physical works. My husband started teaching and I started inviting friends and relatives, as usual. So, we’re more or less settled in this place.


Yesterday, I called one of our dear old friends, and I took her for lunch. She was happy, and we talked for hours about her family and mine.



I’ve called a few other “new” friends for dinner this weekend. After this, I need to make 3 more parties to complete my self-imposed obligations. Giving rides to a few people who can’t drive/need help will always be there, but that proves I’m alive and still functional!

लालटीनको उज्यालोमा, A Book Review

Saraswoti Gyawali’s "लालटीनको उज्यालोमा" is a book you would want to read if you want to know how the Maoist in Nepal were able to win the hearts of the public and won the war in 2006.


Saraswoti is the wife of the current Minister of Foreign Affairs for Nepal. However, both, her husband, Mr. Pradip Kumar Gyawali, and Saraswoti were the former Comrade of Nepal’s Maoist party. The couple has three grownup children.

लालटीनको उज्यालोमा depicts the prehistory era of the Maoist party in Nepal. Built based on the ideologies of Karl Marx and Mao Zedong, the Maoist terrorized the royals, the oppressors and the capitalists in Nepal. In one incidence, for example, Saraswoti and her team humiliated one such oppressor in the public for selling the village girls for money. The incidence occurred in Ardhakhachhi district of Nepal. For her crimes the oppressor's face was painted black and she was forced to wear a garland of shoes around her neck!.

The Maoist's victory was short lived, however. Their government lasted less than a year and the country fell into the hands of a coalition government, followed by a national election after a year.

Yes, the Maoist were able to drive the royals out of the power, but it came at the cost of 13,000 lives and more than that many youth left the country as migrant workers for oversees. Thus, Saraswoti's satisfactions for being able bring some positive changes in the country during the insurgencies outweighed by the loss Nepal incurred.


The Moist party in Nepal also violated the fundamental principles of communism: "Property rights and Redistribution of property by occupying more private properties than any other governing party in the county had ever done!


I left Nepal when the Maoist were working underground as rebels. Their activities were not known to general public like myself. But I did share some of their nationalist sentiments! To be honest, however, neither the rebels nor I knew the true meaning of Maoism, then. We had no real awareness of what Mao or Marx were really like. We only knew their unrealistic ideologies.


Whatever the Maoist understood at the time of revolution and however they managed to get rid of the monarchs, what is happening in the country is not what they had envisaged initially!


Writing that, however, I find Saraswoti's book heroic, and I respect the couple for who they are, more than what they have done for Nepal.

Intuitive or not, a wife/mother's job is never done!

I’m not feeling myself this evening and suggested my husband that we go out for dinner. He asked me why, and before I could reply to his question he said "I would like to eat at home as much as possible since I'm leaving home in two days". His "at home," meant he would like to eat the meal I cook. I couldn’t say anything, except felt like crying!

So, I cooked something simple, feed and washed the dishes. Then I was laying down in my sofa, trying to take a nap.

About half an hour later, one of our daughters came home. She went to the kitchen and told me that she’s going to have some of my food. I felt like crying the second time!

Then, suddenly my mother came to my mind. She was a small framed woman, who was full of energy, wit and courage. She worked 18 hours a day to keep her over 18 ropani lands (at different locations), biggest house in the neighbourhood, six school-children and a very demanding —rather conceited husband. That was not enough of for her, she suggested her husband that they should buy a “mauja” in Chitawan. It was a prestige to own a piece of rice-field in another province then, as some of her colleagues and relatives had done so.

A tiny woman with no formal education, no dowry and more than a handful husband, how did she managed to have them all? That question kept coming in my mind for years.

My mother was very creative and highly intuitive person. She made decisions instantly and took risks when needed. She went out of her way to help others, and never complained about her situations.

She worshipped Gods and Goddesses but believed that we can bring “luck” onto ourselves—not through prayers or pleasing gods and goddesses with sweets and fruits. She was that wise!

I didn’t write this story to show off how rich my parents were. I’m writing this to share how Intuitively Intelligent my mother was and regret that I couldn’t recognized her bornin talents. I thought how can she know what she was talking about; she never went to school!

I also hadn't realized that there must have been some days when my mother was tired and cried alone, when we, her children and husband, were not around. After all, she was a proud woman and never let anyone see her vulnerability!

My dear mother, I do hope you're in heaven living in peace with everything you ever wanted around you!

Our coffee world

Representing a small world of its own, this has been our first cup of coffee-place for at least half the year. Here we find a transvestite, sitting on one of the sofas in one of the corners of the room. Across from this person sits an elderly lady on another set of sofas. Without exchanging a word, these people sit there each day, for hours at a time.  

The transvestite person—or so we heard one day—completely covers her/his head with a oversized hat. S/he wears a loose leather jacket and a scarf wraps around the neck. S/he is there when we enter the room each day and stays there when we leave. Sometimes s/he moves one or two locations within the room and makes two or three trips to move her/his two or three hand bags.

“A man becoming a woman?" "Yeah, a man can become a woman, ney…”  a wired elderly man blurted one day that grabbed our attention to the transvestite. We watched the weird man pursuing the transvestite from the distance. The man thought he was pursuing a lady, we guessed.

The elderly man had his own characters. We never saw him purchasing anything from the restaurant. He was tall and queer-looking! He walked around with a cellphone on his hand. His large jacket unzipped, and his hands spread wide. He reminded us of a hawk going after his prey. Fortunately, he left after a short quarrel between him and the transvestite.

There is also a mentally-ill person. This poor guy doesn’t know how odd it is for someone to watch him rolling up his sleeves just to drink a cup of coffee/tea. He sometimes smiles and talks to himself. Other times looks outside through the glass-windows and walks around the room.  We don’t know who he is or what his past was, but to see a young person going through this ritual makes my husband and I very sad!

There are also other people in this room, whom we meet and greet some days. Some of them are young, and others are elderlies. Some come here with their coffee-craze and others for breakfast.  There are also a few ‘lovers’ who come to take their chances to sleep on each-other’s arms or laps!

Our coffee world makes us feel lucky and at the same time very vulnerable to mental disorders!

Are most mothers negative force to their children?

Most mothers are negative force to their children. They hinder, rather than helping, their children’s survivability. I’m one such mother. 

As a mother,

I don’t notice my child enjoying 23.55 hours a day, but the 5 seconds my baby is sad, I notice. I don’t hear him/her laugh, but hear loud and clear when he/she cries. When things don’t go well the way I plan for my child, I panic. I forget my own heartaches and struggles when I was growing up that made me strong and better survivor. I hurriedly offer my help and promote my child’s vulnerability, instead!

Existence of Gods and Goddesses

As educated people, we should be able to express our views on Gods and Goddesses in the public the civilized way, without being intimidated or ridiculed. Often this is not the case. We're judged for our views the wrong way!

God's existence is hard to prove. Proving other way is equally hard, because normal people don't have the power to see God. 

When I say God, I'm referring to the female God also. I use God synonymously for both Gods and Goddesses.

Gods and Goddesses are huge issues. I can't begin to explain about Them. Trying to find out what is written about Them is my first quest.

What I found in my search is that a lot of people are mixed up God with religion. They start talking about Bible, Q'ran, Gita, et cetera, when  somebody asks them about God. Philosophers, such as Plato, Socrates, and Aristotle have explained about mind, soul, and spirit stuff, but not specifically about God. 

I also consulted the oldest and the youngest family members in my household. Both of them told me that God is created in our mind, out of fear and lack of knowledge.  

So, I came to the same conclusion as I always have: God is who we conceive He/She is.

There is a book called Connected:The Amazing Power of Social Networks and How they shape Our Lives by Nicholas Chistakis and James Fowler. Their article, "Behaviours and moods tend to spread through a population on the model of a contagion" clearly explains the phenomena that it is our association, not the God or religion, that shapes our thinking.

My family is fortunate to have lived in Campus towns in Canada and in the USA. We've also travelled to a few countries and have met people with all faiths. Consistently, we've met good and bad people across all religions!

Function of God is to lead His disciples (believers) to the "righteous" path. Function of religion should be  the same, since religions consist of "God's rule of laws". It is assumed that religious people are conscious of others' need, therefore, don't commit crime--out of the fair that their God would be upset with them.

So, even though the concept of God seems to have come from social and psychological factors, our societies are better off with God believers, than non-believers.

My personal belief on this matter is that, there is a God, or at least there is some Superpower beyond the reach of a normal human being. I've seen miracles happened. You can call these miracles co-incidental, but I would like to believe that God made those miracles possible!

The mentally poor people

Some people are born in a poor family and die poor, unfortunately! But others are fortunate enough to have been born in an affluent family. However, some of these fortunate people are born with a poor-mind.

Stories of how a person can be rich materially, but dirt-poor mentally are many. For instance, one of our family friends (who has more money than she can account for) buys her essentials only when these items are 'on sale’. She tells me that she just don't want to waste her money on items that are  not on discount. 

This person once took me to a store which sold ‘cheap’ grains. I bought a package of beans with her recommendation, which I had to throw away after finding as many live warms in the package as the seeds were!

Another colleague of mine told me once “I fill one of my sinks  with detergent-water and wash all my dishes of the day in that water” Wow!

I’ve been in the households who reuse their dish-pad for months and clean their dining table with a piece of cloth that never gets to see a washing machine or a dryer.  I’ve also witnessed some of our friends cooking all their foods in their presser cookers to save fuel!

My father used to tell us that some people are born “slaves”.  They are born to work for the money they own, not enjoy out of it.

He must be correct, or why would some people --with their own will-- go for the cheapest things they can find in a land of Best and Abundance? 

This post was for #metoo, written in October, 2017

I’m an woman and I guess the “#metoo” is for a male to speak out of their mistreatments to their female friends/co-workers/family members or whoever. But I’ve something to add here, as I read tomorrow, October 20th, is the Bhai-puja day in Nepal.


Much of Nepali cultures are male-chauvinistic, if you don’t know already? My topic is about that.


I was born to a chauvinist father, but he didn’t know this because he was surrounded by chauvinist-males, so what he did was normal to him—and everyone around him.


We were six children in the family, and my father assigned one sister to each of his three sons (my brothers), so his sons wouldn’t have to “look after” all three sisters.



Daughters are burdensome in the male-world, and I know the idea of assigning one sister to one son may have come from some other people—didn’t start from my father.



But I was a sensitive girl. I was hearing my father’s biased remarks, such as daughters build their husbands’ homes and daughters-in-law are our daughters (they build his home), etc.


However, my arguments are not about my father. These are directed to the mothers who kill their daughters willingly and legally (when they are still in wombs), and call “Laxmi” to their daughters and give a few coins on some occasions, but keep their valuables for their sons.



One such woman once told me that she used to take her pee to a "clinic" and see if it was a girl or boy embryo. Then she would go for abortion.


I've had my own story about abortion, but it was not for a boy my husband and I decided to go for the surgery. We simply couldn't afford to have another baby when he was a student and I had to work to support the household.


Being a sensitive girl, I’ve paid a heavy price emotionally when I was growing up. For example, my father would praise me occasionally and say “you’re so smart. I wish you were a son”. Or, "once I give you away in marriage, who is going to build my home?”


My father didn’t know how much I was hurt by his remarks. I never made him known my pain. But I did ask him once “Why are you so worried about “him” (one of my brothers) and not me?” To this he replied, “Because you would never suicide”. “You’re too smart to take your own life!”


So, when mothers call their daughters “Laxmi” and brothers ask their sisters' “blessings" on Bhai-Tika, my throat tightens in frustration.